Why It's Hard to Write About Sex

Okay, pun intended....

I come from a very conservative family (We are Southern Baptists and Grandpa was a pastor.)  When my dad was still alive, there is no way in the world I would have ever considered writing a sex scene in the off chance he might read it and realize that I'm no longer a virgin (I've been married for sixteen years, BTW). Maybe that's why I didn't publish anything until after my dad passed. Why? Because--in my family, we don't talk about sex! EVER! It's a completely taboo topic. If I didn't have two daughters, I think I'd probably just continue to pretend to be a virgin at family reunions, etc.
But writing must mirror life, and the bottom line is--in case you weren't aware--people have sex. (Some people more than others....) Nevertheless, it is difficult to tell stories without it ever happening. I managed to get through the first two installments of The Clandestine Saga by glossing it over. In Book Three: Repercussion, it's gonna happen. And I'm gonna have to be the one to write about it.

In fact, I just did.

And I think I did a pretty bang up job. (See what I did there?)

Writing about sex can be almost as awkward as "the first time."

For me, it's a fine line between telling the reader enough to keep them interested and not crossing the line into smut.  Especially when the characters I am writing are so very real to me. Do we deserve to be in their bedroom? Maybe not. Do we want to be? I think yes.

For me, it all goes back to the piece of advice my brother (an actual published author with an agent and everything!) gave me when I published my first book. He said, "It has to be real. The moment the reader doesn't buy it, you've lost them." Thus, people have to have sex in my books sometimes, my friends.  Hopefully, I tell that part of the story in a tasteful way that adds to the story--instead of peppering it in like a machine gun for no reason in a tasteless way that just leaves the reader unsatisfied. (nudge, nudge; wink, wink)

Now, if I can just admit that sometimes people use the "F" word....

Authors, do you struggle with this or am I the only one?
Readers, what are your thoughts on reading about hanky panky?

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