Kindle Scout Campaign Day 2: Oh. My. Goodness!

So as you may have gleaned from the title, this is day 2 of my 30 day Kindle Scout campaign, and I am exhausted! It's hard work trying to get people to nominate your stuff! You wouldn't think so, but it's true! Luckily, today is a Saturday, so I was able to spend aaaalllll day online, bugging the crap out of my friends, checking the Hot and Trending list, and basically giving myself an ulcer. I'm quite certain that I will be as mad as my main character by the end of this month!

One of the awesome banners made for me by Author Shout!

Authors don't get a whole lot of feedback from Kindle Scout as to how the promo is going during the campaign. Every morning at 6:00ish I'll find out how many views my page received and how many hours I've spent on the Hot and Trending list. The H&T list is the top 20 titles enrolled in the program at one time. No one really seems to know how a book gets and stays in H&T, but speculations assume it has something to do with number of views and nominations.  It isn't enough to have people just come to your page and take a look around; they have to actually nominate your book. Or at least, that's the theory. I had 0 hours on H&T yesterday even though I had 182 page views, which I thought was pretty good. Today, I've been on H&T since 9:00 AM and it's almost 11:00 PM, so I should have at least 14 hours when I check tomorrow, depending upon what the night brings.
As far as spreading the word goes, so far most of my efforts have been on Facebook and Twitter. I did submit a BookBub Partners ad today but I don't think it's been approved yet because nothing has happened, and I also created a Pinterest ad which is definitely still in review. I've had a lot of help from friends on FB today, which is awesome, but I know my most loyal peeps will probably do everything they can in the next few days, so that might exhaust itself soon. I've done two post boosts, which seem to be getting some attention. I also posted in a lot of the book promo groups I am a member of.
I also have a company called Author Shout working for me, which I picked up off of Twitter for $10. They found me.  They made two amazing banners for me and have been Tweeting and did some FB posting, which is great.  Twitter hasn't been too exciting as even my most loyal retweeters haven't bit on any of my Twitter pleas, so maybe I can tap into their followers later in the campaign.  I also haven't started really bugging my author friends yet because I'm trying to pace myself. It's hard when you really want to get the word out but you also don't want to run out of steam.
Kindle Scout shows you the website where your traffic comes from, so I would like to thank the sole blog post reader of yesterday who clicked through my link! If you would like to see my campaign and nominate Beneath the Inconstant Moon, you can click here.  I would really appreciate your support!
The thing I really have to keep in mind is that public support is just part of the secret equation. Ultimately, someone at Kindle Press will decide whether or not my manuscript works for what they do. Hopefully, they will think so no matter how many hours of H&T I can stir up or how many page views and nominations.  But drawing in more readers definitely doesn't hurt, so please check it out and send your friends. If they choose my book, anyone who nominates it gets a free copy, which is really cool.

An Open Letter to a Negative Reviewer

Dear Reviewer,
Thank you for taking the time to purchase, read, and leave a review for my book, Ghosts of Southampton: Titanic. I understand that you have millions of books to choose from, and I am honored that you selected mine. While this particular book sells far more copies than any of my others, for some reason, I am struggling to get reviews, and since yours was only the sixth one to post in almost a year, I was excited to see that five finally change to a six.
Unfortunately, that is where my excitement ended.
Before I comment on your rude and practically pointless comment, let me go back up a bit and tell you a little bit about myself and this book. I am not a full-time writer. I am also a mother and a teacher. One of my daughters has autism. I have a long commute. I like to visit Disney World and the beach.  My point? I am a human person--a real one--with a low budget and a passion to tell stories. I am not a traditionally published author with the backings of a major publisher to catch all of my "vocabulary" mistakes--I pay an editor a nominal amount for that. I hire talented, practically undiscovered cover artists to make my covers. I rely on my own devices to spread the word and hustle my own books. I am an amateur writer with the goal of becoming a household name someday.
Yesterday, I was feeling pretty good about my possibilities, too. I found out that my tiny little Amazon check was going to be twice as much this month. It's been almost two months since a day has passed with zero book sales, though my sales are usually only one or two books per day, not the hundreds or thousands professional writers sell.  Still, I am hopeful that someday I will be able to count on my Amazon check to make my car payment.
So, I was feeling hopeful yesterday, thinking about my next work of historical fiction which should be ready to ship to the editor soon (remember the editor--the person who is supposed to check for mistakes in my "vocabulary"?) and then I read your review.
You see, I don't mind critical reviews if they are politely worded and constructive. One of the best reviews I ever got was three stars and it really caused me to reflect on my character development. It made me a better writer.  I even got a one star review once and that made me realize I needed to go back and look at a book I hadn't touched for years. I needed to have my new editor take a look at that one.
But your review was not constructive at all. It offered nothing but the snidely worded advice that I needed to check a few errors in my manuscript.  Let me quote it in its entirety for anyone else who might be reading this post.

Learn Vocabulary
I forced my way through the ridiculous wording. "she clinched her eyes" "later" instead of "latter" & a host of other mistakes. Bleh...

Now, let me say, I appreciate the sentiment. You found some errors that both my editor and myself overlooked.  I have since gone in and made the changes.  But let me ask you something, is this how you typically address people in your everyday life? Do you normally tell colleagues or even random people on the street that they need to change something by using such rude commentary? Do you realize how ridiculous you sound in pointing out two mistakes in a 70,000 word book and not even commenting on the plot or anything else? Did you just assume that I, the author, wouldn't read your review, or do you even  care that you actually offended a real-life person--who has feelings--and called something I labored over for months "ridiculous"?
But it seems I am not the only victim of your wittily worded feedback. I checked out some of your other reviews.  Even the ones where you said you liked the book you gave some backhanded compliment or were downright overly critical.  Thankfully for me, mine wasn't the worst review you left, though if you read this, I have no doubt you will go and change what you had to say and make it even uglier. But that's okay because on behalf of all of the other authors you have left rude and unhelpful feedback for, let me just say, we hear you--and nobody cares.
You see, I've sold just as many copies of this book today as I have every other day this month.  I know for a fact that at least five people have marked your review as "unhelpful" in just a few hours.  I look back at the reviews Ghosts has received on Amazon and Goodreads, the emails I've gotten from random readers, the comments people have left on Facebook, and I realize that I cannot let the comments of one clearly unhappy individual dictate how I feel about myself as a writer or as a person. At the end of the day, not everyone is going to like everything that I write, and while I am always thankful for the feedback, some comments are more meaningful than others, and I am done worrying about yours.
So... thanks again for letting me know we'd missed "clenched" and "latter." I'm sorry the storyline and the characters of Meg and Charlie were not enough to help you get passed these "vocabulary" errors.  I hope that, if you are a writer yourself, you will take the leap and put your work out there because, while it is scary as hell, it's worth it. When you get positive feedback from just one stranger, you know you made the right decision.
For my fellow writers who may see this post and say, "You just have to let negative reviews go and ignore them," I agree.  That is what I usually do. I may regret ever writing this. But I must say I feel better for the moment. In the time we live in where everyone is standing up for their beliefs and their rights, why should we as authors continue to put up with this type of review without reminding the world that we are people, too? If you can't say it constructively, then keep your views to yourself. Otherwise, the only person who ends up looking ridiculous is you.

If you'd like to check out Ghosts of Southampton: Titanic for yourself, you can find it on Amazon here. If you've read it and you have some helpful feedback to leave, even if it's critical, please leave a review. I love to hear from readers, especially when what they have to say helps me to become a better writer.

2015 Three Day Novel Writing Contest Recap

You may recall that I spent last Labor Day weekend writing Transformation--a feat that nearly killed me.
Okay--that may be an exaggeration, but writing nearly 80,000 words in three days is a pretty difficult task.
This time around, I decided to tone it down a bit for my 3 Day Novel Writing Contest entry. I only wrote 54,000 words.
In three days.
It nearly killed me.
(But only because I was already sick.)
Compared to most of the other writers I was keeping up with that weekend, it still seems to be quite a lot of words.
But it's not the quantity that counts. It's the quality.
And I think you'll really like what I produced.

Learn more about the 3 Day by clicking here.

The name of the book is Ghosts of Southampton: Titanic. I have added the Titanic part recently because I have decided this will, in fact, be a series. I have a few alpha readers looking it over now and no word yet, but I think y'all are gonna like it.
The story is about a woman named Meg who boards the Titanic in Southampton, her home town. She is running away from someone, but we don't know who, not at first.  She is determined to start her life over again.  Unfortunately, we find out pretty quickly the man she has been engaged to for the last three years is also on the ship.  Only he doesn't recognize her because they've never met.  He's a billionaire from New York City named Charlie Ashton. And when Meg finally meets him face to face, she realizes she's made a terrible mistake.
But he's not the only person Meg is running from, and it seems some of her other ghosts have also followed her aboard the Titanic. If she doesn't figure out a way to explain to Charlie why she left Southampton without ever even meeting him, she knows she'll lose him forever.
Oh, and the boat is sinking....

I don't want to give the ending away, but the boat sinks.

Over the course of the three days I spent with Meg and Charlie (and Kelly, Daniel, Jonathan, Molly Brown, Ruth, and Baby Lizzy) I fell in love with them and their story! And I can't wait to share it with you! The only problem is, if I want to have any chance at winning the 3 Day, I can't publish the story until after the winner is announced, and while I really don't think I'll even make the short list (I didn't last year and look how successful Transformation and the rest of that series has become) I still feel like I should wait.
Luckily for you I've decided to go back a bit in Meg and Charlie's story and write Ghosts of Southampton: Inception--which will be a prequel to Titanic. And--I may go back further than that as well. AND--I'm thinking about publishing it on Wattpad and some other free sites.
What do you think?  Does Meg's story sound interesting?  Are we all Titaniced out or are we good for another go?  I'd really love to hear your thoughts.
P.S. If you're a writer at all, you owe it to yourself to try the 3 Day. It's one of the hardest most amazing things you will ever do in your life. The last 3 Day saw the creation of Cadence, Aaron, Elliott, and Eliza, and who doesn't love them?  You can purchase Transformation here for only 99 cents and see what can be done in only three days!

Writer Problems: Hesitating to Drop the F-Bomb

Let's face it, there are certain things you will probably never hear a sexy, badass, male lead character say--things like:
"Dag nabit!"
"Holy malarkey"
"Jumpin' Jehosaphat!"

No, chances are, if you are reading a dramatic tale where a male (or the female, for that matter) is royally pissed off about something, chance are in our day and age in particular, they are likely going to drop the F-bomb--or to quote one of my favorite Christmas movies "the F dash, dash, dash word."

But as a goody-two-shoes, it is extremely difficult for me to say, or even type, that word. Why? Visions of my sweet aunt who has probably never even used the word crap before cross my mind. I see her sitting in a rocking chair, an afghan over her lap, deciding to finally see what it is her precious, innocent niece has been up to with her writing, and a few seconds later she is passed out on the floor, my use of the F word sending her heart into overload. Yes, in my mind, using the F word will kill my loved ones!

What is your opinion on swearing in books?

I know it's ridiculous and absurd. And so with this book, Repercussion, I'm taking the plunge. I'm using it--Aaron will say the F word if it is the last thing he does! (I bet you're hoping it's not the last thing he does, but remember, main characters die in this book, too, so....)

Now, don't worry. The entire book is not laced with curse words. It's fairly similar to my other books as far as swearing is concerned, and I vow to only include the F word once, because in my opinion, one can generally think of a more creative way to express one's self. (Unless one just happens to be dying....)

Fellow authors, what are your feelings about using the F word or curse words in general? Am I unique with my hang up?
Readers, how much cussing is too much? I'd love to hear from you.

And remember, if you pre-order Repercussion, it's only 99 cents and all proceeds go to help the Whitley family with medical expenses for their sweet daughter's kidney surgery. You can read more about Sophie Whitley here.

My Top Ten Ways to Procrastinate While "Writing"

Any author will tell you we don't just sit in front of a computer screen for hours on end and let the words flow freely (and if they do tell you that, chances are they are lying.) My method consists of writing furiously for ten to thirty minutes at a time and then distracting myself for a few minutes. Here's my top ten ways to ensure nothing productive happens:
10) Check to see what song is playing on Pandora.  Of course, I usually recognize the songs on my favorite stations, but sometimes something new will come on. Then, of course, I have to see what it is!
9) Check email.  There's very rarely anything of interest in my in-box. But sometimes it's worth a second just to confirm that no one important has sent me anything of interest, like this Nigerian Prince I've heard about.
8) Check my blog posts. Sometimes I stop by just to see if there are any comments or how many people have read my post.  There are rarely comments (sad face emoticon).
7) Check Fiverr.  I'm pretty much done selling my soul as an editor on Fiverr. But occasionally I will check in to see if any funds have cleared.
6) Look at pictures on Pinterest for inspiration.  I don't spend a lot of time here, but sometimes it helps to clarify my thinking. Particularly when I am checking out my secret "hot guy" board... just saying.
5) Look up something for my story.  I like to double-check my facts from time to time, or see what type of vehicle I should incorporate, pick out a snazzy hotel for my MC, that sort of thing.
4) Tweet. I often have random thoughts while I am writing that needed to be Twittered.  Here's one from earlier today, "If my husband's not gonna read my books, I'm gonna start naming my heroes after my ex-boyfriends." It had to be said, people. Incidentally, follow me @authoridjohnson
3) Check for new reviews.  I don't get a lot of reviews. I still like to check every once in a while to see if anyone has any insight into my writing they would like to share. If you do, please be kind. I am mostly human.
2) Check Facebook.  There's really nothing to see here.  Checking my newsfeed really only consumes half of my day, tops.

1) Check to see if I've sold any books. This would also include the page count for the new KDP program. I check this several hundred thousand times per day. It is almost always the same....

All right, my fellow writers! What eats up your time??

Another Year Goes By

Today is my birthday.  There was a time when I was younger that birthdays made me a little uneasy. My mother was the type of woman who would lie about her age. (Maybe she still is, but I think she handles it a little differently these days.) For a long time, I thought growing older was a negative--it meant more wrinkles, more hair in the sink, more aches and pain, that sort of thing.  But when I started losing people that I loved unexpectedly, it made me realize that the reason we get presents on our birthday is partially because we have accomplished something. Not everyone gets to be 38.
My dad suddenly died at 55.  I know that the chances of dying unexpectedly are probably higher than the number of people who pass on with the idea that this is "the day," but, nevertheless, having someone so integral to my life ripped away from me with no warning was a huge wake up call to me that you shouldn't put things off.  I have accomplished a lot of things since my dad died because he reminded me that we don't always get tomorrow, next month, next year.

This year I've accomplished something I've been "meaning" to do for as long as I can remember. I wrote a book.  Actually, I wrote 5 of them--one to be released soon, the rest out in the world.  Writing a book is hard! You're responsible for the lives, thoughts, and actions of so many other "people." Whats even harder is selling books. You have to market yourself like a used car salesman. What's even harder is listening to people talk about your work like it was just spawned one day, like it didn't come from my own flesh and blood (and tears.)  But I wouldn't change it for anything, and I hope that I have a few more books on the shelf by the time I reach 39.
This year I started editing, too. There are a lot of reasons why I decided to start editing but the main one is because I hoped to meet some other new writers and form some friendships. I have definitely done that.  Of all of the birthday wishes I received today on Facebook, many of them were from fellow authors. That's awesome.  It's great to know that should I ever need to bounce an idea off of someone who feels my pain, there are lots of willing souls out there.
While I can take very little credit for this, I have also seen a huge improvement in my daughter's speech and social skills this year.  She continues to amaze me every day.  I am hopeful that by this time next year, she will have made even more progress and eventually we will be saying, "Autism who?" or the equivalent thereof.
There are some things I wanted to do this year that just didn't happen--as always. I traveled some but not enough. I didn't see my siblings as much as I would have liked to.  I am in better shape but not the best.  I still want another dog! But, I am optimistic that I will get an entire 39th year to work on those things. And if I don't, perhaps they aren't as important as I thought.
We never know what the next moment brings. Let us embrace each one as it comes.  To my friends and family who have wished me a happy birthday, I say thank you. And thank you for being in my life. To those of you who are reading this wondering if they will ever write that book--just write it.  Get the words down. That's the easiest part, believe me. Once it's down, the rest will come. To the readers who have enjoyed my work, thank you so very much for giving deeper purpose to the art I love to create.  I would still write even if no one reads it, but the fact that people do read what I write not only inspires me, it humbles me as well.  Here's to the 39th year being the best one yet!

5 Simple Ways to Make Your Editor Love You!

By day, I am a reading teacher. By night, I'm a writer--okay, actually, by most nights, I'm an editor. I do a lot of editing for Fiverr.com  and while I absolutely love this gig, there are some things I really wish all the writers I work with would do before they send me their manuscript. Now, don't get me wrong, I work with some amazingly talented writers, and most of them know these rules and follow them (most of the time), but then there are also some manuscripts I get that could really use a nice proofread by the author applying these rules before he or she sends the doc my way. Take a look. Maybe these suggestions could help you, too.

A careful proofread from you will make your editor's heart happy!

1) If someone is talking, put some quotations marks around what they are saying.
 I know this seems pretty basic but I get several manuscripts a month where there are no--and I mean no--quotation marks. So, here's the basics of how to use quotation marks.
Right before someone starts talking, place a quotation mark. (")
When they are done talking, you will need the closing quotation mark. (")  This goes right before words like "said" or "replied."
If you can remember to put a comma before the closing quotation mark, that would be even better. (I know sometimes you may need a period, question mark, or exclamation mark, but even if it's just a comma, that will work for me.)
Example: "Take out the trash, Billy," said Mom. NOT Take out the trash, Billy, said Mom.

2) In America, we put a comma before "and" in a list. 
In Britain, they don't do this, but here we do. So, if you have a list of things (more than two) use a comma before "and."
Example: She went to the store to buy bread, milk, and cheese. NOT She went to the store to buy bread, milk and cheese.
PS: If you want your manuscript edited for British English, specify this ahead of time (or better yet, find a British person as they are probably better at it.)

3) When a new person is talking, it's a new paragraph.
When your characters are talking, separate the dialogue by putting a paragraph break between each exchange. Also, make sure it's clear who is talking. Sometimes, if we don't say "said Bob" it's hard to tell who is talking.
Example: "Why do you ask?" Mel said.
                 "I wanted to know," I replied.
NOT "Why did you ask?"Mel said. "I wanted to know," I replied.

Without proper punctuation, the magic gets lost.

4) Stay in the same tense.
If your story happens in the past tense, make sure all of your verbs agree. It is extremely difficult to edit a text that jumps back and forth between tenses. In the last few months, I have edited three manuscripts that switched tenses so often I had no idea what the original intent of the author was. Half of the story was in past tense and half in present, but it would switch within the same paragraph. Don't do this--be consistent.
Example: The man went to the zoo. He saw an elephant. NOT The man went to the zoo. He sees an elephant.

5) Most of the time punctuation goes inside of quotation marks.
A lot of times, writers get the quotation marks right, but they put the punctuation on the outside.  Double-check to make sure that your commas, periods, question marks, and exclamation marks are all inside of your quotation marks.
Example: "She is my best friend," I said. NOT "She is my best friend", I said.

Now, all of that being said, I know I make mistakes in my writing, and I don't always catch everything. And editors don't always catch everything either. But if you can look over your manuscript carefully and check for these mistakes before you submit it for editing, you'll make your editor very happy, which might just get you a discount next time. I work with two authors who do such a great job with their own editing that I  don't charge them nearly as much to edit their writing because I know it won't take me as long.  Catching these types of errors in our own writing will also help show that Indie writing can be just as polished as traditionally published writing.
And that's my two cents....

Pictures courtesy of Getty Images.

5 Simple Ways to Help Out Your Writer Friend

Do you suffer to Listentoanauthoritosis? Does a friend or family member go on and on about how excited he or she is about a recently published book?  Do you sometimes want to throw your smart phone against the wall because you are tired of seeing cover options clogging up your newsfeed? It sounds to me like your author friend needs a hug--and by hug I mean your support--and by your support I mean money  encouragement (and social media blitzing if possible.) Here are five easy ways you can support your friend and help him or her achieve their book writing dreams.

1) Retweet! This is by far the easiest thing you can do to support your author friend (other than just saying, "Hey, way to go, author friend!") It takes about a half a second to retweet something and you will never see it again. Since the life span of a tweet is three seconds, chances are no one will be annoyed that you retweet for your friend fairly often because they won't see all of them. Hopefully, they will see one of them and buy your friend's book--and that just might make you a superhero.

Be a superhero and support your author friend!

2) Like/comment/share on Facebook. This is a little more demanding because you could potentially end up being the one clogging your other friends' newsfeeds.  But, it doesn't take much to like a post or leave a quick, encouraging comment. Did you know that the more like/comments/share's your friend's Facebook page gets, the higher it will climb in rankings, which will make it easier for other readers to find the page and potentially read one of your friend's books? It's true! Again, this is a huge help to author's so seriously interact on Facebook as much as you can. And, the next time you check to see who liked that 87th photo of what you had for dinner last night, you might realize your author friend is helping you out on Facebook, too. Interacting on FB makes you our BFF.

Best Friend Forever?  Go ahead, share that link!

3) Read their blog posts--and comment.  Many indie authors spend an overwhelming amount of time blogging (if you don't believe me  check out how many posts I have this month) in the hopes of grabbing the attention of readers. Again, the more interactions we have on our blogs, the better the chances we have of moving up in google search rankings and getting more attention. Clicking on blogs helps, but reading and commenting is even more helpful. And, sharing our blog posts on your social media (Twitter, Facebook, Google+) makes you a rock star!

Rock star? Blog star! Leave a comment!

4) Buy a book ( or two). If you haven't purchased one of your friend's books, please consider doing so. After all, chances are you can get one for less than a cup of Starbucks coffee and you can read it on anything. Yes, without a kindle, you can go download a Kindle published book and read it on any device through the Kindle Cloud Reader. That would mean your laptop, your iPad, your phone, whatever.  And when you buy a book, something magical happens. Graphs grow dots, lines go up, rankings go up, titles move up in search engine rankings and authors smile--a lot! It's not about the $1.50 you just put in my pocket; it's about the appreciation of knowing you care enough about me to buy my book. Even if you never read it, you suddenly just made your author friend's day. That makes you My Sunshine!

For the price of a cup of coffee, you can make it happen!

5) Write a review. Okay--I'm not going to tell you to go on Amazon and write a 5 star review of your friend's book if you hated it.  But if you saw some endearing qualities, let the world know!  (However, if you can find nothing good to say, don't break your loved one's heart by saying so publicly--mums the word.) When anyone posts a positive review about our work, it becomes very real that all of those hours we spent laboring over this work of art were not in vain. Someone read it--and they liked it! And that makes you the Queen or King of Everything!

Be Reviewer Royalty and help your author buddy out.

There are lots of ways that you can support your author friend and these are just a few of the simple ones. Who knows? Maybe that friend will write you into his next book as the best friend who saves the day!  And when she wins a major award or makes the best-seller list, she'll know who to thank!

Follow me on Twitter at @authoridjohnson
Find me on FB at https://www.facebook.com/IDJohnsonAuthor
And on Amazon here.

Pictures courtesy of Google images. All rights reserved.

Why Reviews Are Stupid (Sometimes)

Recently, I received two 3-star reviews on my book Cordia's Will: A Civil War Story of Love and Loss. Don't worry--this blog isn't a rant about how everyone is being mean to me and judging my writing too harshly. In fact, the second review was actually quite helpful.  I appreciated the writer's candor and his insight. You see, it is possible to write a review and do it in such a way that you are not only helping readers decide whether or not they want to read the book, you are also being helpful to the writer.  The other review, however, retold the entire book, including plot twists, and included comments that were supposed to be derogatory that were actually compliments, such as this gem:
"[The scenes that depict war] read like they were copied from the history pages..."
Uhm, thank you? It is historical fiction after all....

How many stars must a book get for you to choose to read it?

This got me thinking. What have readers had to say about other books--best sellers and the like--that, if the authors read them, would make then laugh or cringe?  After all, one little 3-star review on Stephanie Meyer's page is not that big a deal. Put it on my page amongst my other three or four reviews, well, it tends to stick out.  So, I did some research and I found some examples of ridiculous reviews for literatures heavy hitters.  See if you can identify what book each reviewer** was talking about and check your answers at the bottom.

1) "I have to give it a one star because the book in its narrative is lacking so much in basic reality that it is flat-out sloppy.  The 'unreliable narrator' style, typical in books written from the perspective of children, mentally challenged individuals, substance abusers and others of this sort is what I'm referring to."

2)"This book is quite possibly the most insipid novel I have ever read in my life. Why this book is so highly treasured by society is beyond me. It is 345 pages of nothing.  The characters are like wispy shadows of something that could have been interesting, the language that could be beautiful ends up becoming difficult to decipher and led me more than once to skip over entire paragraphs because I am tired of having to stumble through them only to emerge unsatisfied and the plot is non-existent..."

3)"If I'd enjoyed the book more, I would have found it easier to suspend my disbelief, but as it was, I was constantly irked by questions and inconsistencies."

4)"[The author] is not a bad writer. She has the ability to string words together. Unfortunately, she lacks any kind of flair. There was no original description; no truly evocative language.

5)"[The book] aimlessly stumbled about, tripped over its own feet, and then proceeded to face plant into the ground like a drunken frat boy at a keg party. I was not amused."

6) "... as the book wore on...I began to realise that I was growing more and more bored and found myself struggling to read on. "

7)" ... it's just so f--ing dumb....If you happen to be a 40-50 year old (white) man, and like reading about '6 figures,' then I'll understand you liking this book."

8)" I don't care if it is some great story about surviving in a war zone or some [bs] like that. None of these characters really expressed the complexities or debated the moral dilemmas involved in surviving the Civil War."

9) "As always, I like the author's narrative voice, but as a character sketch of a marriage, this wasn't quite sharp enough or funny enough or emotional enough for my taste."

10)"There were too many characters to keep track of. And for each character, I only knew them through their work.  There was no emotional development of characters, no seeing their feelings."

11)"This book was utter failure to me in respect of a horror novel.  Didn't scare me, nah, not at all, didn't even make me wince."

12)"I'm not going to comment on the literary shortcomings of this book, the cliches, the painfully long narrative, the fact that the characters will not think about an issue for months, but then suddenly it becomes important again. Smarter people than me have already said all this."

Okay--how many of them did you figure out? Some had some pretty obvious clues, others not.  Here are the answers: 1) Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain 2)Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen 3) The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins 4) Twilight by Stephanie Meyer 5) Divergent by Veronica Roth 6) The Fault In Our Stars by John Green 7) The Firm by John Grisham 8) Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell 9)Landline by Rainbow Rowell (Goodreads fiction book of the year) 10) The Hunt for Red October by Tom Clancy 11) The Shining by Stephen King 12) Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by JK Rowling

So, what's my point?  Well, for writers it's this: Don't let one annoying review get you down. If you getting the same sort of comments over and over again, then it's probably something to pay attention to. If it's just one person's opinion, as another brilliant writer, Taylor Swift once said, "Shake it off, shake it off!" For readers, let me just say this, the person who wrote that book is probably going to read your review. Would you say it their face?  Would you say it in those words?  With that tone? If you are reading a book by a little known author, chance are writing is not their full time gig. They might be a firefighter or police officer, or pastor by day--or a teacher, like me--just trying to get their heart and soul out there for the world to see.  So, while I would never ask anyone to alter their opinion, if you feel it is necessary to be negative, do so in a classy way.  You'll get your opinion across in a way that both the writer and other potential readers will appreciate.  And there's nothing stupid about that!

**All of these reviews are from Goodreads.com and the opinion that they are stupid is solely my own, though you may agree. I left the names of to protect the anonymity of the poster, even though they are posted in a public domain.**