Let's Talk About Grace

I know it's been a while since I've posted on my blog. I've been so busy writing books the last two years, the blog has gotten a little neglected. But what I want to talk about today doesn't belong in a book, though it definitely has to do with writing. I thought about the best way to deliver this message last night as I was attempting to fall asleep. I considered a Facebook Live because I feel like it might get a little more attention than a blog post. But I'm not sure I'm ready to put my best face forward just yet. That is, I'm not sure I'm ready to go live and say coherent things to who knows who might be watching. So for now, I'll stick to what I do best and get my thoughts down on "paper" where I can always go back and revise if something doesn't quite come out right.
Last night, I was perusing Amazon as I often do, looking at books in my genre, checking out reviews and rankings and book covers and all of those sorts of things, and a couple of reviews caught my eye. I'm not going to mention the books or the authors here, and I'm not even going to call out the reviewers who seriously need to consider some life changes, but I am going to talk about something that was missing from the reviews in question, and that important item, which seems to be missing more and more from our lives in generally, especially when we are hiding behind screens and keyboards, is grace.

We all need a little grace sometimes. Picture credit: Pixabay

Grace--the ability to give a person a little bit of space, some mercy, to forgive a little or a lot because it's the kind thing to do. That's not Merriam Webster talking or the Bible or even the nagging sound of my mother's voice I sometimes hear in my head when I need to make better choices. That's life telling me that sometimes we all need a little bit of mercy, a little bit of forgiveness, a little bit of "overlooking."
I was reading reviews of some new authors, people who have just started their careers, trying to launch books with little to no funds, I'd guess, no mailing list, no publisher, no social media following. Some of the reviews were so harsh and ugly, it just made me sick. Why do we have to be so hard on each other? If you read a book by a new author, and you don't like it, of course you have the right to tell others what you disliked and possibly warn them from making a purchase of a book they will also have problems with. But one star reviews because a book needs a proofread, or because you found the plot too predictable, just seems spiteful to me.
I have never left a one star review on a book ever, and I have hundreds of reviews posted on Amazon with over 50,000 views. Even when I've read a book that seems absolutely terrible to me, I always find some good to focus on in the review and give at least two stars, often three, because everyone needs hope, everyone deserves to know they are not a complete failure, that they may have hard work ahead of them, but that doesn't mean their dreams are shattered all over the floor.

Why would we want to make anyone else feel this way? Picture credit: Pixabay

Grace. Why not come to the review page with a handful of grace? Why not sprinkle a little bit of sunshine in a world full of anger and madness?
I've been writing long enough that I realize that my style might not be everyone's cup of tea, and that's okay. Occasionally, I will get an ugly review, but I have enough good ones to let those others go. I do read every single one of them, though, and I try to learn what I can from the bad ones, though, for the most part, there usually isn't much to learn except that people can be angry about books sometimes for reasons that seem irrational to me. In the case of these other authors whose work I looked at yesterday, I read some of what they wrote, made some downloads, will finish and review, and when I do, my reviews will remember that I am talking to real people with feelings. I get that reviews are for other readers and not for the author, but that doesn't mean we can't be kind when we communicate our feelings, knowing the author will most likely read every word.
Grace--that's all I'm asking for in this world of keyboard warriors who feel invincible behind their screens. If you take those screens away, you'll see people just as frightened of criticism as the ones they are attacking. And face to face with harsh reviewers, I'm sure they would also appreciate a little grace.

An Open Letter to a Negative Reviewer

Dear Reviewer,
Thank you for taking the time to purchase, read, and leave a review for my book, Ghosts of Southampton: Titanic. I understand that you have millions of books to choose from, and I am honored that you selected mine. While this particular book sells far more copies than any of my others, for some reason, I am struggling to get reviews, and since yours was only the sixth one to post in almost a year, I was excited to see that five finally change to a six.
Unfortunately, that is where my excitement ended.
Before I comment on your rude and practically pointless comment, let me go back up a bit and tell you a little bit about myself and this book. I am not a full-time writer. I am also a mother and a teacher. One of my daughters has autism. I have a long commute. I like to visit Disney World and the beach.  My point? I am a human person--a real one--with a low budget and a passion to tell stories. I am not a traditionally published author with the backings of a major publisher to catch all of my "vocabulary" mistakes--I pay an editor a nominal amount for that. I hire talented, practically undiscovered cover artists to make my covers. I rely on my own devices to spread the word and hustle my own books. I am an amateur writer with the goal of becoming a household name someday.
Yesterday, I was feeling pretty good about my possibilities, too. I found out that my tiny little Amazon check was going to be twice as much this month. It's been almost two months since a day has passed with zero book sales, though my sales are usually only one or two books per day, not the hundreds or thousands professional writers sell.  Still, I am hopeful that someday I will be able to count on my Amazon check to make my car payment.
So, I was feeling hopeful yesterday, thinking about my next work of historical fiction which should be ready to ship to the editor soon (remember the editor--the person who is supposed to check for mistakes in my "vocabulary"?) and then I read your review.
You see, I don't mind critical reviews if they are politely worded and constructive. One of the best reviews I ever got was three stars and it really caused me to reflect on my character development. It made me a better writer.  I even got a one star review once and that made me realize I needed to go back and look at a book I hadn't touched for years. I needed to have my new editor take a look at that one.
But your review was not constructive at all. It offered nothing but the snidely worded advice that I needed to check a few errors in my manuscript.  Let me quote it in its entirety for anyone else who might be reading this post.

Learn Vocabulary
I forced my way through the ridiculous wording. "she clinched her eyes" "later" instead of "latter" & a host of other mistakes. Bleh...

Now, let me say, I appreciate the sentiment. You found some errors that both my editor and myself overlooked.  I have since gone in and made the changes.  But let me ask you something, is this how you typically address people in your everyday life? Do you normally tell colleagues or even random people on the street that they need to change something by using such rude commentary? Do you realize how ridiculous you sound in pointing out two mistakes in a 70,000 word book and not even commenting on the plot or anything else? Did you just assume that I, the author, wouldn't read your review, or do you even  care that you actually offended a real-life person--who has feelings--and called something I labored over for months "ridiculous"?
But it seems I am not the only victim of your wittily worded feedback. I checked out some of your other reviews.  Even the ones where you said you liked the book you gave some backhanded compliment or were downright overly critical.  Thankfully for me, mine wasn't the worst review you left, though if you read this, I have no doubt you will go and change what you had to say and make it even uglier. But that's okay because on behalf of all of the other authors you have left rude and unhelpful feedback for, let me just say, we hear you--and nobody cares.
You see, I've sold just as many copies of this book today as I have every other day this month.  I know for a fact that at least five people have marked your review as "unhelpful" in just a few hours.  I look back at the reviews Ghosts has received on Amazon and Goodreads, the emails I've gotten from random readers, the comments people have left on Facebook, and I realize that I cannot let the comments of one clearly unhappy individual dictate how I feel about myself as a writer or as a person. At the end of the day, not everyone is going to like everything that I write, and while I am always thankful for the feedback, some comments are more meaningful than others, and I am done worrying about yours.
So... thanks again for letting me know we'd missed "clenched" and "latter." I'm sorry the storyline and the characters of Meg and Charlie were not enough to help you get passed these "vocabulary" errors.  I hope that, if you are a writer yourself, you will take the leap and put your work out there because, while it is scary as hell, it's worth it. When you get positive feedback from just one stranger, you know you made the right decision.
For my fellow writers who may see this post and say, "You just have to let negative reviews go and ignore them," I agree.  That is what I usually do. I may regret ever writing this. But I must say I feel better for the moment. In the time we live in where everyone is standing up for their beliefs and their rights, why should we as authors continue to put up with this type of review without reminding the world that we are people, too? If you can't say it constructively, then keep your views to yourself. Otherwise, the only person who ends up looking ridiculous is you.

If you'd like to check out Ghosts of Southampton: Titanic for yourself, you can find it on Amazon here. If you've read it and you have some helpful feedback to leave, even if it's critical, please leave a review. I love to hear from readers, especially when what they have to say helps me to become a better writer.